Cheers and Jeers for Wednesday, June 23, 2021
Note: As of this writing I have never been struck by lightning, shoes, or a foul ball. I have, however, been struck by pudding, dog toys, and bad judgment. So it’s a wash.
By the Numbers:
Days ’til Festivus: 183
Percent of Americans polled by AP-NORC who say they’re very or extremely worried about a COVID-19 infection in their inner circle, the lowest level since the pandemic began: 21%
Percent of who say they are extremely or very likely to still wear a mask when participating in indoor activities outside their homes: 40%
Percent chance that President Barack Obama supports Joe Manchin’s voting rights compromise: 100%
Amount the typical food-service industry worker makes, according to CBS News: $20,000
Expected year that coal and nuclear energy will no longer be part of the U.S. electric grid: 2050
Rank of Ruth Bader Ginsburg among icons of the left whose image-related merchandise sells the best, according to NBC News: #1
Mid-week Rapture Index: 187 (including 5 plagues and throngs of churchgoers infected by Satan’s doughnuts). Soul Protection Factor 24 lotion is recommended if you’ll be walking amongst the heathen today.
Puppy Pic of the Day: Saved!!!
CHEERS and JEERS to peeking inside the rabble’s head bone. As the Senate crushes all our hopes and dreams for the survival of our republic, new polling out from Monmouth University reveals what Americans think about voting rights as if that matters anymore but whatever, it’ll give us something to talk about while we’re being shipped to the libtard reeducation camp in northern Alaska on orders from President DeSantis:
The poll’s findings indicate strong broad and bipartisan public support for election law reforms often at odds with each other in partisan debates over voting.
Nearly two-thirds of those polled, 71%, supports that it should be overall easier to vote early in elections. […] 80% of the public also supports requiring a form of identification before a person can vote.
The public was more divided on voting by mail; 50% of the public supports making voting by mail easier compared with 39% of those polled who think it should be made harder.
And in other exciting news, Senator Kyrsten Sinema is rich and doesn’t have to worry about anything for the rest of her charmed life as a social belle of the ball. Isn’t that great? So happy things turned out well for her.
P.S. Former most powerful man in the universe Barack Obama warned Senate Republicans that they better not filibuster the Democrats’ voting rights bill or else. Republicans promised to get back to him right after they filibustered the Democrats’ voting rights bill, but of course they didn’t…or maybe their silence was their response, I don’t know, politics is so complicated these days.
CHEERS to the winner of all the marbles…or should I say big apples HA HA HA HA HA!!! Start spreading the news—the New York City mayoral primary was held yesterday. I forget who voters chose as the winning candidate, but if the name plate that’s been on the office door at City Hall since 1994 is any indication, let me be the first to say: congratulations, Mayor What Were We Thinking???
CHEERS to 1-900-CLARENCETHOMAS. Who’s up for some SCOTUS hilarity? On this date in 1989, the Supreme Court refused to shut down the dial-a-porn industry, saying that indecent speech isn’t the same thing as obscenity, and is therefore protected. Interestingly, all the justices in the majority had cauliflower ears. Coincidence, I’m sure.
P.S. Clarence Thomas turns 73 today. I hope he enjoyed the little, um, “present” we left on his Coke can this morning. We all chipped in, sir.
BRIEF SANITY BREAK
END BRIEF SANITY BREAK
CHEERS to Things That Go Clackety-Clack for $200, Alex. On June 23, 1868, Christopher Latham Sholes received a patent for his “Type-writer,” the first to have the famous QWERTY sequence on its upper keys. Today bloggers who can’t think of anything for their subject line typically go south for the edgier and more mysterious “asdf.” And the day someone decides to drop down to “zxcv”? Well, don’t tell anybody, but I believe that’s the day the nukes leave the silos.
CHEERS and JEERS to the weather. Here’s…the weather:
This has been…the weather.
Ten years ago in C&J: June 23, 2011
JEERS to information I did not require. I got an urgent email yesterday from some publisher informing me that if I didn’t plug Bristol Palin’s new book, I would be a bad American. Whatever. It’s just blog space. Here…witness the heavy burden that weighs upon the youngling’s brow:
“[Meghan McCain] ignored us during the entire visit. [I] had a sneaking suspicion I might need to watch my back. Every time we saw Meghan, she seemed to be constantly checking us out, comparing my family to hers and complaining. Oh the complaining.
I’d never seen people with so much Louis Vuitton luggage, so many cell phones, and so many constant helpers to do hair and makeup.”
Well then, Honey, you haven’t seen my partner Michael and me on a camping trip.
And just one more…
CHEERS to remembering the Great Sitstorm of Aught Sixteen. Can’t let the week squeak by without slipping into the wayback machine to remember the day we discovered that Democrats could stage a sit-down protest on the floor of the House, disrupting business and throwing the Republican majority into a tizzy. But there wasn’t a thing they could do about it, in part because the leader of the resistance was a living American icon:
Led by civil rights icon Rep. John Lewis (D-GA), Democratic members of Congress literally sat on the House floor on Wednesday to demand action on gun control. Speaker Paul Ryan (R-WI) responded by ordering the cameras off and abruptly ending the session.
“We have lost hundreds of thousands of innocent people to gun violence,” Lewis said on the House floor during Wednesday’s morning session.
Dozens of Democratic members of Congress stood beside him, before they all took a seat on the floor.
“Tiny little children. Babies, students, and teachers. Mothers and fathers. Sisters and brothers. Daughters and sons. Friends and neighbors,” Lewis said. “And what has this body done?”
Watch him thunder and pound the lectern in righteous indignation on the House floor with his Democratic colleagues standing behind him. Indelible moment:
And so they literally sat on the floor of the House, much to the delight of Americans sick and tired of gun violence, but to the chagrin of the congress members’ backsides. Nobody expected Republicans to do anything constructive in response, but it achieved Lewis’s goal of “making some noise” and getting Americans to notice which party is looking out for them. On that score: point Democrats.
Have a happy humpday. Floor’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about today?
Today’s Shameless C&J Testimonial
”There are too many Cheers and Jeers nowadays. Please get rid of 2. I am not a crank.”